:: Friends ::

"Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"
- Bronwyn Polson

There were times when I spent the night at a girlfriend's house, and the next day she said its ok if i wanted to go home to my family coz she was feeling so much better. So i made my way home. Then the phone rang when I was about to park my car in front of my parents house, she called crying and said that she was feeling down and needed someone to listen to her. I, without hesitation reversed my car and made my way again to he house. and mind you, the distance from my home to hers is more than 50 km.

There were also times when I was woken up at 4 in the morning by a cabin crew friend who had overslept and missed the crew pick up and asked me to send him to the airport. Simply because he didn't want to pay the taxi, who would charge double at that time of the night. Oh and by the way, he was entitled and could claim the taxi fare from the airline company. But he thought it would be too boring sitting alone in the cab from puchong to KLIA. I sprung from my bed and drove my car from bangi to puchong then to klia then back to bangi. And I didn't ask even one cent for the fuel and I even enjoyed our conversation in the car.

There were times when i had to listen to a friend whine and complain and talk about everything under the sun when my heart was actually hurting from events that are happening in my own life. I suppressed everything inside and paid attention to that friend and mentioned nothing about my own grief. I'm good like that, I'm a Gemini.

Last week I slept at 5 am just so i could finish up the handmade farewell gift that i made for my ex office mates. Papers used were especially bought from curve, and before that I ran around KL, and Seremban looking for special wooden cloth pegs to give to them as a note holder. I couldnt seem to find it so i changed my plan and made them a note instead. Each especially done for a particular person, with a personalized message, for each and everyone of them, including the bastard boss.

I would gladly do anything for my friends because secretly deep down I hoped that someone, if not all of my friends would be there for me when I needed them.

Now i know its just wishful thinking.

I'm in the midst of changing jobs, i had a few tragedies, my husband is not at home, I reached out but no one is here.

So much for friendship huh? Whenever I call, its always me who has to come to your place. Its always me who has to follow your schedule of your perfect life. Its always you who always determine where to eat or drink. Whenever you do things thats regarding your family i respected it and understood that family comes first, but when I did something for my family I was scolded? Because I didn't inform you? What the hell? When everyone seemed to be against you, be it in work or relationship, I supported you and blamed everyone else. i kept my honest opinion to myself because all I wanted was for you to feel better & for you to know at least someone is behind you and that you're not alone. But what happened when its my turn?

Enough is enough.

I've had it.

No more stupid sacrifices for people.

My very own happiness and peace is of utmost importance in life right now.

:: Why People Are So like That aa? ::

Well, so most of might already know, I am looking for new opportunities, work wise.
Somewhere with people who knows how to motivate.. somewhere with a lot of great perks, somewhere more stable.
Somewhere I can shine & being recognized for trying to shine & make the company proud.
Somewhere with leaders, not bosses.
Somewhere with leaders who don't use vulgar words everyday to get the message across...

In other words, I'm looking for a 'real' job in a 'real' company.

I've been to some interviews & was offered a lot of different kinds of offers. I am so psyched!

However, the "bosses" have a new kind of interest in me as of late. They are extra kind & courteous to me.. They are now showing care & respect towards what I do. They now use the magic words such as 'please' 'may i' 'would you' & 'thank you'.

What the hell? What in Gods name is happening here.

Do they know that I'm planning to leave & therefore decided to change their way so that I won't go?

Why become a different person once I'm ready to pack up and leave?

Wouldn't the world be a better place to live in if everyone is courteous to everyone?

Would it be so bad if we could support each other & just be nice, regardless of your status quo?

:: Arab Day ::

Assalammualaikum, Keif Halkum?

Ana Bkhair, Shukran Jazilan...

Yesterday was my official Arab day. A dear friend, an ex-colleague from Emirates came to visit. Well, not actually came here and visit, he was here for a flight, layover for 2 days. His name is Hasil Khan bin Karim Al-Balushi. He's originally from Muscat, Oman but now living and working in Dubai. We used to hang out together everyday back when I was there since we lived in the same building. We were so close that people thought we had an affair.. What can you do? You cant stop people talking, can u? We both know what we had back then.. It was more special than an affair.. we had a very special bond that is a Friendship.

He and his friends (Juma, Feisal, Abdul, Habib, Tariq and Khalfan) were like the big brothers I never had. They took real good care of me when I was sick, cheered me up when I missed my home so badly, they gave me the support and a pat-in-the-back whenever I did something good and they scold me like nobody's business when I did something bad..

So yesterday, abang, me and hasil were planning a lunch together, but because of a silly phone mishap, me and abang ended up having lunch together and then, we went and pick up hasil from his hotel. He looked well and he bought me a really nice abai-ya ( the black jubah that their women wear). It was nice of him. Then we went the curve and shop like there's no tomorrow (that includes the must-have item from Malaysia, pirated DVDs).

The one thing hasil said stuck in my mind till today.. He said, "Faizah, u're a lucky girl. Shah is a very nice guy and he loves you a lot. To find someone that loves you that much and being able to marry and live with him, is just a blessing. Take care of him, yourself and the marriage. I will pray for your amirah. Please remain friends forever coz I dont want to lose u and miss the chance to see your baby..." and as always, he asked us to come to oman.. bila la agaknya.. I would really love to revisit a place called 'salalah' in Oman. Thats the place where the Nabi Ayub well is located. Nice windy weather with gorgeous view of the mountains and rivers.

When we were done, we bid our goodbyes and me and abang headed home. Then, nad called and summoned us for a mengeteh session in cyberjaya. And since we're headed that way anyway, we joined her. She was there with two of her friends from Saudi. There are such nice polite guys!

Anyway, I've always love Arab hospitality. Because contrary to popular believe, they are actually very polite. Yeah they speak loud, but it doesn't matter, does it? What matters is what they're saying. For example, a normal beginning of a conversation with Arabs will start with a lot of "How are you"s.. How's your life, how's your father and mother, how's your family, how's your work, how's your husband... I mean, how many of us actually asked a friend about his/her family when we meet up? None of my arab friends had met any member of my family. They never even speak on the phone, but still they kept on asking about the well-being of my family.. To me, that shows concern.. And that's something that we all should do more of... Well, thats only my personal opinion..

When everyone loves and cares about one another, the world will be a safe and happy place to live in.


Take care beautiful peeps... Lets take care of each other today..

:: Forever Friends ::

A comment in my last post got me walking down memory lane for a while.. it was from a dear friend of mine from form 1 till form 3 in Sekolah Berasrama Penuh Sabah(SBPS), now known as Sekolah Menengah Sains Sabah (or something like that).

Back then, when people are still using filmed camera to take pictures, when doc martin shoes are an essential item in everyone's wardrobe, when cellphones are unheard of and when normal rate for cybercafes is more than RM10 per hour. (Gosh I feel old!) Back then, I was known as PEEJAH… hahhaha… I can’t exactly remember why, but my best guess is that some of my schoolmates couldn’t pronounce the ‘F’ and ‘Z’. They ended up calling me Paijah.. then from paijah, it somehow turned to Peejah. I loved the name though, and still do.

Anyway, I went scurrying for my old photos from back then. Back when I was young, naïve, wild and so so soooo thin. I had a few great buddies when I was in that school. We spent a lot of time together in the hostel as well as the class, fooling around. I was a bit of a trouble maker then and these friends stayed with me no matter what ‘trouble’ I caused. They stuck with me through thick and thin.

Maybe I was too proud to mention it back then, but I really appreciate it u guys. Thanks so much for everything. I feel so grateful just for knowing each and every one of you as a friend. I really wish that we could catch up sometimes. Inform me if any of you is ever in KL ok..

So now… the old old pictures!!!

One of the pics that I found of Herda, Otek & me, in our classroom where we were suppose to study real hard. Otek was the hardworking one and Herda was a cheerful and funny one.

Pic of Otek, Fariza, Herda & me with our cikgu darjah, Ustaz BK as we call him. I seriously cant remember his real name! What's his name ha? Ah anyway, the cikgu hated me so much (well, I must say the feeling was mutual back then) and he loved Otek so much coz she was wearing tudung and she was so obidient... hehehe... What ever happens to Otek? Oh btw, Otek got her name because her face is so cute and round that from side view, she looked like cute ikan otek.

This is Ena & me. The thing I remember about Ena is how beautiful, graceful and tall she was. This picture was taken by one of our friends with me on my tip toe, trying to measure up to her. When she smiles, her eyes turned to straight lines.. hehe.. She has a chirpy little sister named lolyta. Loly used to teach me to rap and dance.. hahahah... kan time tu semua orang nak jadi rapper.. termasuk lah akak.. hahahahah... sungguh kelakar.... hahahahhaha

And finally, (absolutely not least) this is Fariza & me. Fariza has the most gorgeous long black and straight hair i've ever seen. Her hair always smelt good too! What happen to fariza ha? I met her in UTMKL years back but that was it. We lost contact and never seen her since. We were quite close back then and had our fair share of laughs and tears.

Well, believe it or not, that was the only pictures I had from SBPS. I'm not a very good keeper I guess.. Of course there were a lot more friends who had touched my life when I was there.. Million thanks to each and everyone of you for making my life much more colorful..

Since we're still on the subject of rekindling, I met with Kamarul Elmi's father the other day in my open house. Just so happen my uncle is his good friend, and since he was visiting from sabah, my uncle brought him along to our place. Anyway, I got a chance to speak with Kamarul thru phone and he said he's managing the dewan makan in sbps now.. Wow! that's amazing.. oh ya.. and lily is managing the cafe? impressive!

Oh I miss the old times.. when everything was so simple.. when all we had to do was have fun!

:: What's Friendship? ::

A very interesting yet disturbing thing happened yesterday.. How two friends ended up arguing and bashing at each other over a lame and harmful joke. This incident got me to reevaluate the word ‘friendship’ and what it really meant to us. Maybe friendship is overrated. Friends really do come and go but what I really believe is that people just vibrate at a different level at a different time, and that we actually “attract” the people we associate with in regular basis. Have u ever notice that there is some degree of truth in the saying “birds of the same feather flock together”?. How a group of people that has the same common interest, same goal and same values just stay friends forever. To me, that’s simply because they are vibrating at the same level and they will stay close as long as they stay vibrating at the same level. When they grow together, they stay together. When one of them is growing but the rest of them stay, somehow that one person will feel left out simply because that particular person is no longer sending the same level of vibration as the rest. Good news is, that ok.. in fact that’s normal. In time, we will ‘attract’ new people who vibrate at the same level as us..

For example, when I was flying, (no I was not a superwoman before, but I could fly!) my circle of friends consists of people from the aviation line. But now that I’m in financial world, surprisingly, my circle of friends has now changed into people who are involved in finance. Of course some of us from aviation line are still in touch, but somehow or rather, we don’t really connect as well as we did before. And I regard this as a healthy thing, and as part of growth.

This unfortunate incident also reminded me of 2 great books that I’ve read and love.
1) Personality Plus by Florence Littauer
2) The Secret by Rhonda Byrne ( I have the cd too)

I’m pretty sure a lot of u have read or at least heard about this book but to those who havent got a chance to read them, GO AND GET THEM NOW! They thought me a lot about different kinds of people and how to deal with them as well as how to change your surroundings and your future just by changing your thoughts. I shall write about the books in my next blog... maybe..

Anyway, for the both of the people, whose friendship is in turmoil, think about it long and hard.. its sad to see such a beautiful relationship goes to waste over some nasi dagang (pun unintended).. but then again, i always believe that people walk in and out of our lives for a purpose.. it maybe sad that the friendship cant last forever, but for whatever its worth, every friend has shaped us into the person we are now. One way or another, we should be thankful to have known them for they have contributed and played their part in helping us grow into a better person. Nothing should be changed as wishing to change anything at all from our past is not only a waste of time, its also a waste of valuable experience. Thats just life. It may seem unfair now, but believe u me, there's always a blessing in disguise.

A point to ponder... we make mistakes all the time.. heck, we're just human.. but the most important thing is sincerity. When apologizing, apologize sincerely. If it doesn’t come from the heart, u might as well don’t apologize. Again, to me, the rule of thumb of any relationship, be it in the office, at home, with friends or family, compliment a person in public, but criticize a person in private. And we malaysians really do need to compliment more! We are excellent at criticizing each other and we would be a great nation if we learn to at least compliment as much as we criticize. ( I need to double up on my compliments too..)

Ok then.. take care peeps…